Am I Stuffing or Letting Go?

Jim Cernan
Jul 22
3 min read

Updated: Jul 30

Letting go requires vulnerability. It asks us to slow down.

Understanding the Subtle Difference That Shapes Our Emotional Health

There’s something we all say when life gets heavy: “I just need to let it go.”

We say it about arguments. Frustrations. Disappointments. We say it about what hurt us. What confuses us. What we can’t fix. And sometimes, it’s the exact right thing to say. But often, it isn’t letting go at all. It’s stuffing.

Let’s Be Honest: What Does Stuffing Look Like?

You tell yourself you’ve let it go, but your chest is tight. You say, “It’s fine”, but your jaw is clenched and your tone is sharp. You pray it away, work it away, smile it away, while your stomach churns.

That’s not letting go. That’s burying it alive.

Stuffed Feelings Don’t Die

They wait. They wait in the body, in your gut. And when the moment comes, when your kid forgets something, or your partner dismisses you, or someone cuts you off in traffic, it all comes flooding back. You snap. You freeze. You fall into shame or blame. And you wonder, “Where did that come from?” But it never really left. It was just stuffed.

What Letting Go Really Looks Like

Letting go is not passive. It’s not ignoring. It’s not pretending. It is feeling something fully, then releasing your grip on it.

Sitting quietly and naming what’s there: “I feel hurt… I feel afraid… I feel disappointed.”
Breathing into where the emotion lives in your body
Journaling the truth without judgment
Crying, moving, praying, or resting
Saying, “I’m willing to feel this instead of resist it.”

Letting go means you feel it, witness it, give it space and then allow it to pass.

It doesn’t mean you approve of what happened. It means you’re no longer carrying it like a secret weight.

Why We Confuse the Two

Stuffing feels safer. It feels cleaner. It seems efficient. It lets us keep the peace. Maintain control. Look composed. But it doesn’t heal anything. Letting go requires vulnerability. It asks us to slow down. It invites us to trust that our nervous system can survive honesty. And the truth is: we can.

We can feel deeply and not fall apart.

We can face the waves and come out stronger, wiser, and freer.

The Cost of Emotional Repression

Emotions are meant to move. When we don’t let them, they don’t disappear; they settle into our bodies.

A Personal Story

A while back, I visited a doctor who practiced functional medicine. One of the tests he had me take measured my cortisol levels throughout the day. What stood out was how high my cortisol spiked first thing in the morning.

That surprised me until I started paying attention.

When I woke up, I often felt a subtle sense of fear. A tightening in my chest. A vague dread. But I didn’t deal with it. I distracted myself. Moved on. Got busy. And I’d been doing that for so long, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

It had become a habit: waking up in fear, then repressing that fear. Day after day.

Eventually, my body spoke louder than my mind. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. Can I say with certainty that repressing fear caused those issues? No. But I believe it contributed, maybe even significantly.

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel, our bodies often end up doing the feeling for us.

It was a wake-up call.

Since then, I’ve learned to check in with myself each morning, not to push the fear away, but to notice it, breathe into it, and ask what it’s trying to tell me.

That’s part of what emotional sobriety means to me: Not controlling or avoiding the feeling but being honest enough to feel it and let it move.

Want to Practice?

Ask yourself:

What am I feeling right now?
Where do I feel it in my body?
What triggered this?
Am I honoring the feeling or resisting it?
Is this something I can let go of, or something I need to feel more fully?

If you’d like support with this practice, download our free tool below:

Emotional Check-In Tool – Free Download Printable + fillable version for daily use

A Gentle Closing

Stuffing may seem like strength, but it only makes us heavier.

Letting go feels like surrender but it sets us free.

And with practice, we begin to trust: We don’t need to fear our feelings.  We only need to meet them and let them move through like a cloud moves through the sky.